So Bad It’s AWESOME — Wizards of the Lost Kingdom

Posted: August 21, 2010 in Alex Miller, Film, Reviews, Top5
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[Reviewed by: Alex Miller]

Hundreds of movies come out every month and most of them suck. But every now and then there is a movie made that is so incredibly, unbelievably, insanely bad that it’s actually AWESOME.  This is one such movie (and I use that term loosely).  Wizards of the Lost Kingdom almost made my head explode.  Combine an insanely stupid plot, the worst (and therefore best) characters ever conceived, entire scenes LITERALLY physically cut&pasted from other (bad) movies, and effects so bad that I’m pretty sure you would have to go out of your way to make them that ridiculous.  Just to further prove my point, see that VHS cover for the movie? See the “wizard” on top of the flying lion above a “lost kingdom” holding a sword?  Well that never even happens in this movie!  Click the jump for my Top-5 Ways it Rips Off Other Movies Like Star Wars!

Ok so here is a quick rundown of the “plot”. A boy wizard named Simon, who’s only power is that he can turn statues of birds – into statues of birds that make really annoying noises, lives in a kingdom that is being taken over by an evil wizard named Shurka. His father is killed in the attack and his annoying girlfriend Princess is taken prisoner. At the last second his father gives Simon a magical ring to teleport far away and escape with his friend the Polar Bear Monster (Gulfax). LITERALLY 5 seconds after receiving the key to saving the world, he carelessly drops it right before teleporting. So the entire movie is spent walking BACK to the castle to pick up the ring he dropped, meeting all sorts of quirky people and having “crazy” fantastical adventures along the way. AKA he meets an alcoholic knight with a beer belly, they team up with a midget alcoholic forest wizard who prefers wine, and they walk back home through a couple caves. But anyway, let’s get right into how it rips off other movies (which is the funniest part).

5. The scene with the random flying purple beast isn’t a lot like the scene from Sorceress, IT IS the scene from Sorceress. Now to be honest I had to look up exactly what movie it was being stolen from, but I knew the second I saw it that it was from a completely different movie.  I mean it is literally out of nowhere.  Just randomly we are looking at a sacrifice in an outdoor temple with a flying lion, none of the main characters are there, and it has nothing to do with anything.  They do try to cut back in the middle of it and say that it is some mind battle between the wizards, but in context it doesn’t make any sense at all.  Plus I mean if you are gonna steal a scene directly out of another movie, why would you steal it from an even worse movie?

4. Ok the first video is a lame fight clip from Wizards of the Lost Kingdom (1985). Pay special attention to the “too-good-for-this-movie” theme song playing in the background.  Now click the second video, which is the theme song from the sci-fi cult classic Battle Beyond the Stars (1980) and skip to about 2 minutes in.  Notice, oh I don’t know, any SIMILARITIES?!?  This theme song plays the entire movie.  I mean just pretend like you’re watching a movie and every 2 seconds the theme song from Jaws started playing. It would be pretty distracting. Now you know how I felt.

(Next skip to 2 minutes in and listen)

3. No you don’t have double vision. Once again they stole (or more likely paid money to use) multiple scenes from another movie, in this case Deathstalker.  In fact, the way they use the footage you can kind of pretend that it is a sequel to it.  They use it for the back story at the very beginning although everything the narrator says doesn’t really matchup with what happened in that movie.  What makes it kind of funny is that all of the opening credits and even the title shot are on top of it.  So essentially the title of the movie is placed on top of footage stolen from a different movie.  I want to know where the Director bought his mattress from because I don’t see how he sleeps at night.

2. What? An all-powerful magical ring that is the key to saving the world? Oh and don’tcha know an evil-wizard is trying to get it back from a young boy traveling with his fellowship of friends? Why does this sound familiar? Oh yeah! It’s because it’s the same exact thing that happened in Lord of the Rings the most famous/influential fantasy story of all time! I knew that sounded familiar…

1. The polar bear monster (Gulfax) is a lot like an albino version of Chewbacca from Star Wars. Chewbacca would make random noises that apparently no one but Han Solo would understand. Well Gulfax takes it to the next level. Not only does he LOOK more ridiculous, his noises are also more ridiculous. The only one who can understand him is the young boy Wizard (who I’m half convinced was just making it up). Although the anti-hero alcoholic knight named Kor is a lot more like Han Solo. Only imagine that Han Solo couldn’t understand what Chewbacca was saying and they were constantly getting in fights. That’s pretty much what happens in this movie. This leads to “hilarious” dialogue like “Rawr Rawr Rawr.” “Oh yeah! Well same to you!”.

So yeah this movie is hilariously bad and rips off everything it can.  Funny enough they even made a sequel, although it had absolutely nothing to do with the first one.  To watch this one you’re gonna have to look on Ebay or do a quick search on Youtube as you can’t really find this one at your local Best Buy.  You also might want to google “Psychiatrist” while you’re at it if you’re crazy enough to consider watching this.

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Comments
  1. phil says:

    I agree! This film was so bad, it was good! Have you seen Andy Colby’s incredibly awesome adventure? there is a deleted scene from WOTLK featuring Kor, who has a drunken swordfight with a couple of guys who he humiliates & also steals one of the guys wine during the fight! lol. pity this scene wasn’t added to WOTLK! ‘wherever it could of been pasted into the film! prob just before where Simon & Gulfax are caught in Shurkas trap!

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